Much has been said about Vijaya Malalasekera’s cricketing exploits from his brilliant century at the Roy-Tho to exploits at Cambridge and subsequently as SLC chairman during one of Sri Lanka Cricket’s most successful periods. But what of the Rugby?
We got to know uncle Vijay while playing in the same teams as two of his sons Rajiv and Ashan in the early 90’s. This was an interesting period in Royal Rugby with both extreme highs and extreme lows experienced in equal measure. Living close to them we would always go for practice together and also set off for post-match “dinners” at which a lot happened with food being the least prominent. Prior to heading out we would always meet uncle Vijay who would unfailingly provide us a summary of his version of the match and also some choice advice for the night out. Being a legendary sportsman and definitely having had a party or two in his time he was well qualified in advising us on both matters. But what struck us most during these interactions was how this corporate giant and illustrious sportsman and who was also the father of our friends, manner when greeting us with so much warmth and respect and making us feel so comfortable in his presence. This special ability to put people at ease and to treat everyone equally is one of the many lessons we learnt simply by being in his presence.
His was a consistent presence and much needed at the time as our lives and emotions were intertwined with the team’s performance. So, whether it be the day we messed up and lost to a school for the first time in Royal’s history, or the time Rajiv led us to an unbeaten season and the 50th Bradby victory uncle Vijay’s manner didn’t change. He would always be cheerful, supportive and optimistic. The fact that he was simply proud of his sons’ achievements regardless of the result and this unwavering support he provided has no doubt contributed to the immense confidence they show in their chosen professions today.
When Rajiv first made the royal first fifteen team he told us “ There’s nothing greater in life than seeing your son play first fifteen Rugby “ and this from a man who had achieved so much. It was clear that he was more than happy to let his sons’ steal the limelight from him rather than bask in the glory of his past achievements. Many old boys we met would always talk about “ how great things were in their era in a condescending tone “ but never uncle Vijay.
After his death I was surprised to hear and read about so many of his achievements and wondered why he never spoke about them during our chats. But this was his nature as he always asked us about how things were in our lives and was genuinely interested in our achievements. We would always leave an interaction with him feeling better for it and more confident than before. Once again, a skill we constantly try to emulate and master even today.
Uncle Vijay mastered the art of giving advice in that he only gave one message at a time. He was never one to bore you with a long-winded speech or advice on how to live life despite being aptly qualified to do so. In the course of a chat which involved a lot of sporting discussion, laughter and swearing he would slip in one piece of advice which would resonate. Maybe not even at the time given how immature we were but maybe years later. There was one night after a famous win in which uncle sensed the mood among us and possibly worried about what we would get up to mentioned casually “You know putha, when I scored my 100 at the Roy-Tho that was the only match after which I didn’t drink that year, everyone else was drunk and celebrating but I wanted to savour the moment with a clear mind “Interesting words from a man cradling a scotch at the time but an important lesson none the less.
Looking back on our very last interaction with him though uncle was clearly physically unwell on the day he was sharp as ever cognitively. He got Sundaram to pour himself and us a shot and lit up a cigarette despite aunty Niri’s disapproving glance and in his own inimitable style began to ask those who had come to check on his wellbeing about how we were doing ! And during the course of this chat or interrogation asked us what our plans were for our children’s higher education. When we said “They are still young, a long way to go to think of these things uncle” he shot back with “I say, you buggers are bloody crazy, these things don’t just happen overnight “and immediately got his phone out and called a friend of his who works in organizing logistics of university education and introduced us to them. The fact that he did this deep into the throes of a serious illness not only showed his caring nature but also demonstrated what a good father he was and how much the academic and professional success of his four sons was largely due to his far thinking and meticulous manner.
Uncle Vijay also had an interesting attitude to illness. Any query about his illnesses were brushed aside with “ Everything’s fine putha, Niri and the boys just like to worry you know “. None of his illnesses were ever serious enough to forego a drink or two and a smoke. For one so carefree about his health and being the worst patient ever it was interesting that he would constantly call us to help out when others he knew fell ill. He would send various family or many of his friends for support and then follow up diligently as to how they were doing showing the selfless nature of the man. His attitude to death was also a lesson in itself. When the bad prognoses accumulated and the family geared itself to use all resources to cure him uncle Vijay told his sons “Look here now, I know you buggers can take me anywhere and do all this fancy treatment, but every man has his time to go and I’ve lived a good life , so please let me be “. He also spoke proudly of how well his four boys were doing and that they would look after aunty Niri so he had no fear in leaving this life. A content man if ever there was one.
Thank you for all the memories, laughter and life lessons uncle. I know you were looking down as your sons and their friends toasted you with your favourite Scotch, plenty of ice and water and reminisced about the impact you had on their lives to the tune of your favourite song “ What a wonderful world “. And looking at all your achievements and most importantly the happiness you have bought aunty Niri, Sanjiv, Rajiv, Ashan, Prashan and their families, as well as all those like us that happened to cross paths with you we can honestly say “ What a wonderful life “.
By Dr Harindu Wijesinghe and Dr Chamara Wijesinghe
